Sibling Rivalry

The kids are at that stage of fighting one minute and being secretive spies together the next.

Although I know it’s all part of the growing up process (and the adult one too..), I find it so frustrating when they fight. Not knowing what to do has got to be one of the hardest parts of parenting. When we were little, my Mum used to put me and my 2 siblings into a room to sort it out ourselves. I think this is a pretty good idea and I try to do the same when I can. Working together has to be a good lesson to teach any child, and maybe this is the perfect opportunity for that?

I can’t abide huffiness and always try to be as honest as possible; I like things to be out in the open and not harbour any resentment. But I struggle with confrontation sometimes, and like to level with people where I can rather than argue. And that is what I’m trying to teach the kids, when they come telling tales or being hysterical about each other.

There’s a sense of sibling rivalry to it, in that they are both vying for my attention. Yet I know, they’ll be the best of friends again in 5 minutes. Just like me and my brother and sister. Communication has to be key, but how do you teach this to a 4 and 6 year old? I really believe that however bad the situation, to keep talking. Maybe I’m going off track now, yet I think this is the secret to the closeness I feel towards my siblings. And, I hope that they feel that too.

Back to the little ones, I’ll keep fighting T’s stubborn streak while reassuring his lovely sister that at 4 he doesn’t understand as much as she does. Trying to placate them without interfering with their relationship too much feels like my role. As well as being there with cuddles when they actually just need a hug, because sometimes that really is all it boils down to.



  1. Honest Mum February 11, 2016 / 6:41 pm

    Absolutely relate and it can be so tiring can’t it. I know they are both testing boundaries and this behaviour is formative but my two are highly competitive and like yours, are vying over my attention. Fab post x

    • mummymode February 12, 2016 / 11:22 am

      It is exhausting isn’t it, so hard to get it right. Glad you can identify! xx

  2. Linda February 11, 2016 / 11:52 pm

    I think you have this all figured out Helen. You sound like a great mom!

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