So this most recent bank holiday weekend did not go as expected.. cue several days in and out of hospital and some very traumatic times.
These things happen and I’ve definitely learnt to take the rough with the smooth, but this time I had a major allergic reaction to a drug on top of a couple of other issues. The particular response I experienced has a 1 in 500 chance of happening, which to me is 1 too many. Anyway, I won’t go into details for fear of traumatising you too, but, it’s left me feeling pretty shaky.
As a result, the last couple of days have been spent lying down in the dark with the light affecting my eyes as a hangover of the reaction, which has given me huge sympathy for those who suffer from migraines. It must be horrendous. Really awful and debilitating.
When I’ve been lying still and feeling a bit agitated, I’ve taken to using a new technique to calm myself down. Bear with me, as it sounds a bit lame at first. I’ve been listing in my head the things and people I feel thankful for; achievements, relationships and support. Anything that can give a positive edge is going in my gratitude bank, stored there to boost any low or helpless feelings.
While I was in hospital a good friend send me a hilarious text saying, “my life summed up in a sentence.. well that didn’t go as f@#$ing planned”. That made me laugh my head off. Really, whose does? Sometimes it can just feel like we are cursed, with everything happening at once. Why does it feel a bit all or nothing? We are constantly met with difficulties and challenges, on personal and professional levels.
I’m going to keep going with my mental thankfulness list, especially if I’m struggling to get to sleep or need to block any negativity out. I might even invest in a fancy new notebook (hello fellow stationery fiends!) to record everything. Try it- it really helps. Plus, the whole act allows you to re-gain lost control and that is always an empowering thing to do and so has to be a strong stance to take.
So no, life rarely goes to plan, but sometimes, life can also go better than the plan ever intended. Here’s to feeling grateful.