Finding Your Friendship Tribe


I’ve written about friendship before. So bear with me while I talk about a little more. Mainly because these relationships which empower and guide us through life are just so damn precious.

After finding the anchors in my life, the firm group of friends around me, I feel I could conquer anything. My good friend’s little boy was christened on Sunday, and at the party afterwards with our kids all playing in the garden, I had this content warmth about the wonderful people in our lives.

Last week I was having a terrible time with a back injury and my gorgeous friend had the kids running wild around her house, as we drank caffeine by the bucketload. Sod the nights out of younger life, this is the stuff of true meaty friendship.

I’ve learnt over the years not to settle for friendship second best. Why should we? Those who pick you up and put you down as it suits them are not worth the hassle. Just as anyone who doesn’t realise that you’ll always do your best, even if it may not seem like that to them, are not proper pals. Furthermore, individuals who make you feel less than good about yourself can seriously jog on. Because a strong friendship takes effort, time and patience. And all of the above are more than worth it.

Friends have fallen out with me in the past about harmless rubbish and I’m sure I’ve let people down a fair amount too. Let’s face it, none of us are perfect. Yet life is all about having the ability to persevere and move past any bumps in the road, with grace and respect for each other. Knowing that events can get in the way and understanding the needs of that other person are both so vital at times.

I can’t profess to being any kind of people guru whatsoever, but I’m a fiercely loyal friend. Striving to pass on a little friendship wisdom to the kids as they get older, here a few things I’ve learnt which I hope they will also do for their future tribe of pals:

  • Let people know where they stand with you, be direct and if they are there for the long run this will always cement your friendship further.
  • Show your friends how loved they are; you know you always like to hear it too.
  • Embrace the bad times as well as the good- it’s the tales that take you through your friendship journey.
  • Always be honest.
  • Suck it up: sometimes it isn’t always about you and you need to give your friend centre stage in the support stakes, just as they will do for you.
  • Laugh, love and learn from your mistakes.

No doubt there’ll be a hundred more points to add to the list as I get older and keep going on this lovely friendship learning curve.

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