How long does it take from your littlest starting school to when you stop missing them like mad? This is currently the question going round in my head as I ache for my small boy.
We’ve clearly been apart because of work and play throughout his life anyway, but I think it’s the fact he has this totally fixed routine now, that of the school calendar, something which was alien previously. He was so ready to go and I’m busier than ever with freelance work, yet, I still jump for joy as the day comes to an end.
That old cliche about blinking and them being grown up is acutely accurate, as it does feel just a minute ago when I was strapping both babies into the double pushchair. Although, to be fair, it was an extremely good day if I didn’t feel like a sack of potatoes or be able to remember walking them into school/nursery. Once, I even threw the house keys into the wheelie bin, instead of the rubbish bag in my hand.
We made the decision to keep our family a foursome and that complete feeling was so incredibly overwhelming when T arrived. I’m one of three, and I love big families, but should you have one or 12 children, I can imagine that the final snipping of the apron strings has to happen sometime.
I even sacrificed my Ray-Bans yesterday (sob), when I ran to T for a massive cuddle and said sunglasses smashed to the ground. I know, I know- motherhood over fashion.
I’m not sure I ever carried off the sleepless look (seriously, who does?) and my confidence plummeted immediately after birth. The kids getting older has meant so much more is possible for nights away etc etc., and I do recognise and welcome this with both champagne and glee.
I think I’ll just take a moment to be a soppy old ma and mourn the end of those baby years, before bouncing back and remembering I do now get to wee in peace. Hoorah.